I allowed myself to fall inside you
feel you whisper around me, all the things I wanted to hear
All the things I longed to be true
consumed in what could be
how it would be
how different it would be
While you warped the world around me
something cold, dark, spineless
like an ooze that tears your very life essence away
sucks in your wants
desires
hopes and dreams for ever having a normal life
a good future
something to look forward to
something to be proud to have
and allows you to watch it disentigrate before your eyes
how cruel such a device would be
and how painfull to be subjected to it so many times
by so many people
One would learn from their mistakes
if animals can do it, why can't I?
Why am I left to repeat every negative aspect of my hopefullness in every single situation?
Am I beyond the ability to learn?
Am I so ignorant to think that you too will not tear out my soul while I am deeply lost into your eyes?
Shredding every hope I had built upon
just for the sheer enjoyment
to watch me fall.
I feel utterly betrayed by you.
You, who allowed me to really believe this time...it was real
this time it was worth it
this time was forever